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Archive for May, 2012

“Mr. Perfect”

I thought about making my second post a diatribe on the different online dating sites and what they “offer” (a term I use loosely….because so far the only thing they’ve provided ME with… is fuel for this blog…).  But, as I started writing it, I realized I should first start with a description of what it is I’m looking for in a potential partner.

Is this a shameless attempt to have readers (I think there are a solid 4 of you so far…) see my “ideal” and set me up?  Yes.  Yes it is.

But, it’s also a bit of insight into why I’m still single…. I’m unbelievably picky.  I recognize this.  I have to admit that from the start so that I have full license to mock and pick at even the tiniest imperfections in the men that come across my path.  It’s only fair…

I am looking for …well…practically perfect.  I want a man who is intelligent, witty, loves God (and that means that he has a REAL faith where he wrestles with what it means to follow Christ in his life…not that he can check a box on Match.com that labels him as “Christian/Protestant.”), is passionate, friendly, funny, devilishly handsome,  outgoing, easy-going (doesn’t get easily heated/angry), has a decent job that he enjoys, appreciates a sassy curvy woman….and on and on the list goes.  Basically – picture that flawless man in all those rom-coms (you know…the ones written by fellow women?), add a healthy dose of spirituality – and that’s my guy.  That shouldn’t be hard to find…right?

So – in the interest of full authenticity, I’m posting screenshots of my Match.com profile.  That way – you can see what it is that I’m showing “the world.”  This is me – online Sarah.  Now you know who I am…. And what I want….

It shouldn’t be THAT hard to find…. Right?

…right?

Now that THAT’S out of the way, I’d like to walk us through the dysfunctional jungle of online profiles – where they go horribly, horribly wrong…how they make me giggle, and tips on making them better.


Dating, Disclaimers & Dysfunction….Oh My!

Alright.  Let me start with some sweeping disclaimers.  This blog:

–       may contain irreverent and inappropriate humor.  And, by “may,” I mean it most decidedly will.

–       is not suitable for people who have had their snarky gland removed.

–       Should not be taken with other medication, including self-righteousness, serious pills, anti-fun-amines, critical tablets, or anything else that will make you a sassy girl’s buzzkill

I decided to start this blog because I’ve had such …..um…. an “adventure” in this new season of dating… and some of it is so horrifically wrong that, in its absurdity, is actually quite amusing.  The more I talked with friends about my aforementioned ‘adventures,’ the more I decided there was enough to say about all this – that perhaps it merited some kind of public venue.

 Here’s the plan:  I plan on exploring the deeply troubled world of online dating (especially as it relates to a woman in her 30’s), the comical struggles of being a single mother, broader issues of life and love as they occur or come to me, and the intermittent thoughts and musings of guest contributors (fellow soldiers on the single front-lines).

So, there you have it.  I plan on exposing my own humorously dysfunctional foray into the world of dating – for your entertainment.  Buckle up, friends…