On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…
Four Snowboarding Yanks,
Three Taco Bobs,
and a Partridge in a Greek Salad.
I found Allen on OKCupid and thought his profile was cute. Sparse, but cute. I messaged him first and he was quick to respond. We were hardly three or four quick messages into things when I decided to spring the 12Dates idea on him. I figured I’d appeal to his adventurous spirit which was apparent in his profile where he talked about how much he LOVED to snowboard.
So – we met at Benjy’s (the lounge) in the Village, and chatted over drinks and pizza. And when I say “drinks,” I mean ‘lemonade,’ in Allen’s case. He’s not a big drinker and never has even one drink if he’s going to be driving. I admit, I kinda like a big sporty guy who doesn’t guzzle down the liquor. Oh, did I not mention he’s QUITE easy on the eyes? The photos don’t do him justice… broad shoulders and a warm smile. Boom.
Allen wasn’t big on taking pictures. I only guilted him into it twice and each time, when the server/hostess went to snap ’em, he made a dorky face. (Which, admittedly, is both infuriating and adorable). So – here’s Allen in all his soberly goofy splendor:
Now… he had texted earlier to say that he was in a ballcap and shorts and wouldn’t have time to change and still make it at the time we’d decided on — because he was helping his mother move. Um…yeah – that’s not a problem, A. A man who TEXTS to check in about his fashion AND is concerned about punctuality AND helps his mama out… is JUUuuust fine in my book. Besides, I knew we’d be cool at Benjy’s…usually the upstairs lounge is half-full of folks in scrubs anyway at that time.
But, the ballcap did present a different sort of problem.
A Sarah’s foot-in-mouth sorta problem.
SOOOooooo…..you know how I’m really not into sports? Like…at all? Well – I kinda, sorta, just a teensy bit ….insulted poor Allen.
You see that NY on his hat? I realize that 99 out of 100 of my readers know what that stands for. But I (being that one-hundredth person) got it wrong. But, rather than saying I didn’t know who it was, when the subject of his hat came up (don’t remember how), I said, with a foolish sense of bravado,…”Oh! You’re a fan of the Mets?”
(insert collective groans and rising levels of disappointment here…)
He laughed indignantly and allowed as how that was sheer heresy! He said it would be like if when I told him I did my undergrad work at FSU, he had said, “Hey! Go Gators!” (Ack…patooey….ick…) He continued giving “It would be like”s for the next few minutes while totally giving me a hard time….which I guess I deserved. It was very amusing.
I TRIED crawling out of the hole by saying that I grew up in the city where the Mets did their spring training and so, my mind automatically goes to that team when I hear New York (which, incidentally, is where he’s from… which makes all this so much worse!). I also tried undoing my damage by pointing out that BOTH teams have a nested Y in an N as their logo…. that they’re not THAT much different. (This also made it worse…I got a lesson in “navy” vs. “blue”…)
So – I’ll let you guys decide JUST how egregious my error was:
I mean… if you squint your eyes JUUuuuuust right. As in – closed.
Fine…they’re not the same at all.
Allen was right.
Hey – like I said – I never claimed to be an expert in ANYTHING sporty.
Anyway, I digress.
The evening was quick, but nice. He walked me out to my car and said goodbye. No kiss. Which is a shame because I would’ve gladly kissed back…(like I said – the pictures don’t do him justice…he’s all sorts of hunky yumminess).
Afterwards, there was some flirty texting which tapered off after an hour or so.
But the next day…and the day after… and the days after THAT…nothing.
What’s UP with guys?
I mean – if I’m not interested, I’ll usually at least let the guy know…
So – several days later, I texted him…
And I’m going to post the next SEVERAL texts that passed between us so you can see the progression.
Now…I was conflicted about whether to post this — for fear of being pegged as “mean”… but in the end, I promised you all an honest account of my dates, and this is where things landed, so – in the spirit of full disclosure…
here you go.
When I saw the texts about not being ready… I was disappointed, but at least admired his candor.
And then, three days later, he apparently woke up feeling saucy and threw out the offer.
Now – the “I’m not ready” bit would’ve been honorable, if it hadn’t been his way of setting the stage for what he really wanted. What Taco Bob had that Allen didn’t… is the commitment to his “not being ready” stance. He (Taco Bob, a.k.a. Jason) took down his dating profile and assured me that we were just going to be friends (and stuck to that), while Allen keeps his profile active and asks me for a sex-only relationship. Hmmm…
KIiiiiiinda makes me think he was just using the date to lay the groundwork for a FWB (Friends with Benefits) situation from the very beginning.
And, though I’d like to say that this kind of thing doesn’t happen very often, I’d be remiss to.
Because it happens quite a bit.
And, while it’s flattering in the sense that it means he at least found me attractive and desires me that way, it’s not what I’m looking for, ultimately. I want the whole thing – someone who’s ready (when he finds the right one) to be all in.
So – thanks for the fun date, Allen… but I’m movin’ on.
(Maybe to a Mets fan??)