6’s and up, please
A friend of mine and I were hanging out the other night
and he point-blank asked me what I thought my number was.
Ok – let me clarify for those who don’t instantly know what I’m talking about.
Regardless of how shallow and tacky it is – we all size each other up based on different qualifications and characteristics. ONE of those is looks. It just is. We can regurgitate all day long the cliched idea of beauty being on the inside… but at the end of the day – you DO care what someone looks like.
Now, different people care different amounts.
Some people have a high tolerance for homeliness if the personality is winning enough.
Others have a harder time seeing past the proverbial warts to the heart of gold underneath. We’re all somewhere on the scale.
But we ALL have a number cutoff.
So, it goes like this – the scale is from 1-10, with 1 being ugly and 10 being gorgeous. It’s obviously subjective… so, while I may say Jason Bateman is a 10, you might call him an 8. …..Oh, who are we kidding… no one thinks he’s an 8. That’s just crazy talk.
But you get the gist…
Anyway…back to my story –
in that moment of decision… I was at a loss as to what to say! Which is really saying something. Or….not.
I mean… if we’re factoring in personality… I think the number’s pretty high.
But, looks alone? Well…. I’m much more curvy than I’d like, but I have a decent smile… my skin isn’t perfect, but I have pretty hair,…
all kinds of thoughts are running through my mind at this moment while my friend is awaiting my answer.
If I’d been having this conversation with my best friend (a girl) or my mom… I could’ve given a higher number and they’d reply, “that’s right – you’re great!” In fact, if I’d given anything but a 9 or 10, I can hear either of them chiding me, “Sarah Stone! Stop that! You’re amazing!!”
But this is a guy. A red-blooded, straight, normal guy… he’s not going to come back with, “awww sweetie, no! You’re WAY higher than a….[fill-in-the-number].”
But time was slowly dripping along and I had to answer.
So I went with nice solid “7.”
“I’d say I’m a….. 7…?” He didn’t flinch or wince…so that must’ve been close!? Or he’s just really nice.
But it got me thinking. What number AM I? How do guys see me? And… is it REALLY all about looks?
Even in a brief one-minute conversation, someone can tell enough about your personality to sway that number a bit, right?
And surely enough of my personality comes across in my online profile to bring my ‘number’ up a bit… right?
And… if I AM a seven… does that give me the right to only date 7’s and higher? Maybe I don’t get to be as picky as I have been. SO many questions!
So I went to the ultimate authority on all things….
the source of all true wisdom in this world. …
Internet, internet – on the wall
Who’s the ‘better than average’est of them all?
….tell me …am I pretty?
I completed a series of quizzes to rate me on a scale of 1-10. I figured the most reliable method would be to average at least 3 scores – like a credit report. One test came back reporting I was “smokin’ hot”…and though I appreciated the ego boost…it didn’t much help in the numbers game.
But the next three gave me cold hard data. You know….scientifically collected and bias free. Ahem…
(And …side note – these quizzes are written TERRIBLY. They’re chock full of grammatical and spelling errors… presumably all written by drop-dead gorgeous, but dumb-as-nails people.)
So…. there you have it. The interwebs say I’m a nice clean “8.333…..”
Not shabby! That’s 1.333 higher than I’d given myself.
But I wasn’t satisfied. These were pedestrian quizzes, probably created by lonely teenagers during their homework period. What real proof is that? I needed more.
So, next I filled out the OKCupid “Attractiveness Quiz.” I figured they had lots of data on me anyway – my photos and stats, numbers of views/messages from guys, etc.
And here’s what they had to tell me…
AAaaaaahhhh….mediocre. Every woman’s dream.
I may have to put that on my profile.
“Hey fellas….you wanna get with someone who’s just so-so? I’m your girl.”
Awesome. (Ego takes a nosedive at least 1.333 points…)
Ok, ok… to be honest, this didn’t really rock me that much… since many of the questions were judging me on things that I value, but the world does not. Some of the questions had to do with sexual promiscuity, etc. I answered pretty conservatively, so that clearly makes me less
Next, I took an attractivity (is that even a word?) poll… and got these results:
This tells me what I already thought to be true about myself –
– Poor, and
– Not too hard to look at.
Yup – that’s me.
But it STILL… wasn’t satisfying. I mean… all of this “data” is based on my word. They say, “tell us what you look like,” and I TRY to be as objective as possible. I don’t claim to be skinny. I know what’s what. I claim it. But apparently in not having any piercings and being average height – already puts me in the top half and claiming to have a winning smile takes me ALL the way to mediocre.
So – where could I go to have someone REALLY tell me how I stack up on that oh-so-important scale of physical beauty alone?
That’s right. It’s a thing.
It’s a dating and social/business networking site that only allows attractive people to be members.
And according to wikipedia, only 20% of applicants make it in. Awesome sauce.
Cuddly? Haha…love it.
I filled out all the demographic information. Next…
I used one from the last year – that shows the whole body – in the hopes of providing FULL disclosure.
Ok, fine, I MIGHT have been wearing spanx in that photo, but come on… tell me that lion wasn’t sportin’ a little shapewear too…
Now I wait.
For 48 hours.
To let the world of beautiful people judge and rate me… and ultimately decide if I make the cut.
I feel like I’m back in high school just HOPING there’ll be a spot for me at the cool table. (In case you’re wondering… there never was.)
So…….. will I be pretty enough for the shallow world’s approval? And what will those results TELL me?
If I make the ‘team,’ does that mean I can be MORE picky?
If I don’t… does that mean I’ll change my personal assessment of myself?
Well, obviously not. It’s not going to change what I know to be true about myself. But, it will be an interesting foray into the world of vanity. A social experiment, if you will.
So – DRUMROLL…….
Did I make it in?
You’ll have to wait another day to find out! Stay tuned for part II………