Let’s talk about fighting!
One of the dumbest things people say (and I hear this ALL the time), is: “I just really HATE conflict.”
DUH! I can’t stand when I hear people say this because it’s usually a way of avoiding problem-solving. What they MEAN is that they actively avoid conflict.
Is there anyone (except sociopaths and narcissists, perhaps) who LIKES conflict?
It’s conflictual for a reason …the friction between two people when things aren’t right – is never fun or enjoyable or comfortable. No one LIKES conflict.
BUT… some people HANDLE it better than others.
Over the next few weeks, on Wednesdays, I’m going to be posting a series about conflict – issues that prevent peace-making, different styles of conflict resolution, fears that get in the way, opposing personalities throwing down, etc. Should be FUN! Er… interesting…?
One thing that I have learned from being self-aware, analytical and devoting myself to my friendships/relationships, is I put a high value on the quality of being able to fight fairly.
Being a GOOD fighter is something I pride myself on and desire in a partner.
So, let me use today’s introduction post to say this…
FIGHT for your relationships!
You know that idea of “fight vs. flight?” (Also known as the Acute Stress Response)…It’s that choice, when presented with a perceived personal danger – to attack or to flee. And I’m here to tell you – Always choose fight. I don’t mean be a jerk or use a heavy hand to win… I mean tackling the problem as soon as is possible for you. If it’s not your natural response, let’s dig in and find out why so that going forward, you can tackle problems quickly and efficiently so that the least amount of damage occurs. That’s what we’re going for here – minimal loss of love/trust/security.
This applies to friendships, family and definitely romantic relationships. So, no matter where you are in your love life, or with your career, or how close you are to your family, you are in SOME form of relationship with SOMEone and conflict is a natural part of that. So, WHEN (not ‘if’) it arises, let’s be ready to fight.
And to fight well.
After all,…anything worth having is worth fighting for.