Ask Sarah – Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
I’m curious, have you ever written anything regarding facial hair on men? I’ve sprouted some recently and I’m always interested in how differently girls respond to me when I have it. Someone even told me it made me look sinister…ha! Thoughts? I don’t really look sinister, do I?
I’ve included pictures of me you can use in your analysis if you like. 😉 Also just so you know, I’m not really looking for advice on whether I should keep the beard or not. I have it because I like it, and I’ll shave it when I decide I don’t like it any more. I am interested in hearing what women’s reactions to the two different looks are though.
(This reader gave me permission to post these, as long as I was clear to the women in my readership
that he is single and available.
A man after my own heart. Ladies… form a line.)
Dear Sinisterly Furry,
First of all, before weighing in on your personal situation, let me speak to the more general questions this brings up.
Turns out I actually have lots of thoughts on all things coiffure.
In fact, one of my girlfriends and I have been talking about this quite a bit lately as we watch our guy friends go in and out of the good, bad, and furry on their heads/faces. She’s a sucker for a bearded man and I love a clean-shaven face. (There…I tipped my hand…) But, we agree about a lot of the principles… and here they are:
1. Representation is everything. If you ONLY have your facial hair one way – and you’re set on it – all your photos in your profile should be of THAT, or at least say so in the captioning. Nothing worse than finding a fresh-faced guy I think is dreamy and then meeting up and finding out that he has a soul patch he’s married to.
2. If you ARE open to different styles of facial hair – make that known on your profile as well. Post photos with different looks and maybe even say something like, “I go back and forth on the beard…” This lets us ladies know that you’d be open to changing it up if you were to fall in love with someone who preferred it a certain way…
3. If you DO have facial hair – trim it such that it’s still kissable without being pokey. You know what I mean, guys. If it’s creeping over the lips too much, it feels like I’m smooching a brillo pad. Oh – how do I know? Please…I have smooched my fair share of brillo pads. Ok, ok, fine, I haven’t. But still.
4. Just say no to weird hair-related fads. (Star-burns, swirly designs shaved into the sides, etc.).
5. And most important of all……. listen up, fellas – I’m giving you pearls here.
If you are balding – cut, cut, cut.
Keeping the remaining locks nice ‘n short (or even shaved) is a much cleaner look, and also exudes confidence. Not to mention the fact that, at the first stages of balding, it can mask things better.
Every woman I’ve talked to on this topic agrees – a guy who’s losing his hair, but keeps it trimmed pretty short or shaves it – is still just as sexy as his fully-fringed compatriots. Some of my girlfriends prefer it!
As far as facial hair making you look sinister…. are you sure you’re not just scowling at everyone? 😉
I’ll let my readers weigh in – in the comments section – about your particular case. But, as far as what women generally want – I don’t think a ‘generally’ exists. I truly think there are even numbers of us that like the goatees and beards as there are those of us who like it soft/clean/hairless.
The best thing you can do is keep asking around and see what the consensus is for your situation.
But, ultimately, if you like the beard – I say, go with it! Because nothing is more attractive than a secure and confident man who’s not busy worrying about his own head of hair, so he can devote himself to complimenting ours.