If you want to play with my toy and I’m done with it… the polite thing to do is let you have a turn.
What if my toy is a man?
So many times, I’ve gone out with a guy and within the first few minutes, thought to myself, “he’s not for me. But, man, my friend ____ would love him!” (Yeah… I have a friend who’s name is “______”).
Sure, it’s less than ideal for ME, but I’m hoping what goes around will come around.
And, let’s face it – until the day when my fantasy of dim sum dating becomes a reality
(this is where you wait for each personality trait you want to come around the conveyor belt, pick out all the ones you like and create the perfect mate), this could be a delightful stopgap.
How cool would it be if I could e-mail him the next day, give him my ‘we’re not a good match’ line and then offer up a consolation date? And vice versa. When a guy goes out with me… I WELCOME him coming back to me and saying… “you’re not the girl for me, but I have a buddy who’d be perfect for you!” I mean… if you’ve written, texted, called and had a first date, then you at least have an IDEA of the person’s personality and preferences…even moreseo than someone has after reading an online dating profile. So – in one sense – who BETTER to set you up?
Problem is – (well, two problems) – this involves rejection and stigma.
The rejection piece is hard. It’s life, yes. But, it sucks. Having someone tell you they aren’t into you, BUT… they have a friend…… well, they’ve still just lowered the boom of rejection, no matter how much they softened the blow with an alternative. So – yeah – we’d have to get over that piece of it…
And then there’s the idea rolling around the back of most people’s head… “isn’t this tacky?” A social stigma that we don’t just throw people around until they land on something that sticks.
And yet… what better system for set-ups is there? Ok, ok… close friends and family may take the first spot on the list. …but I dare say that I’d rather be set up by someone I spent a couple of no-spark-feelin’ hours with, than by the ‘robot’ inside Match.com… wouldn’t you?
Plus – think of the permutations. Sure, you can set “I love to camp” Joe up with “I’m outdoorsy” Jane… but there’s also a group option here. Like – I end a date with a guy and throw his stats out to my ready group of single girlfriends. I include his photo and contact information and it’s up to them to scoop him up!? The guy could potentially have dates lined up for the next 3 weeks just by not connecting with me!
One man’s trash….
So – who’s WITH me? I’m not even joking here. If I have a bank of interested parties, I’m all OVER trying this out.
In fact, the next time I go out with a quality guy, but one who doesn’t have that ‘spark’ with me… I’m going to give this a go. AAAaaaand…. write about it.
Now, I just have to find a date…