D-A-T-E-R and Flirter Was her Name-O …pt. I
A friend recently asked me about how to know when it’s the right time to give out your number, and how/when to initiate conversation after meeting someone, including texting, etc. and as a woman, where the line is of initiating/driving the communication.
Good stuff, let’s just dive right in.
If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know that this is an area of struggle for me because my natural tendency is to aggressively pursue something I see that I like…but I’ve gotten into trouble being too pushy after an initial good first date/meeting and it’s spooked guys. So, let me BEGIN with the full disclosure clause, that I MAY not be the best source of wisdom on this matter. Between curiosity and naive optimism… I will text/hound a guy until he has to practically pry my proverbial fingers off of him. Sexy, huh?
That being said…I always have lots of opinions!
First – how/when to give out your number…
I’m a big proponent of giving it out quickly. BE BOLD, ladies! What’s the harm?
To me, texting and talking are much faster methods of assessing whether there could be a love connection than the messaging systems on the online dating sites (especially the eHarm…good GRIEF…I grow at least 6 gray hairs every time I have to wait for a guy to “respond to my closed ended questions,” etc…. snore… I’m asleep. Wake me up when there’s an atual DATE on the table).
So, if I’m messaging someone and he seems like a potential match, I’ll usually throw out the digits pretty quickly and even ask him if he’s interested in grabbing a drink sometime. There is NO time to waste!! Life is short (and often smoochless), so…I say, strike while the iron is handsome.
And when I’m out and about – if I meet a cute guy without a wedding ring, I’ll often pass him my number as I leave the place (coffeehouse, bar/restaurant, taxodermist’s office…you know…the usuals). It can be anything from striking up conversation and then giving him my card (I’ll tell you later about the cards I ALWAYS carry with me), to literally scrawling on a napkin, something flirty and simple like:
“You’re cute. I’m cute. We should go grab a drink sometime and be cute together. 555-123….”
(I know, right? WHAT are the odds that my cell number starts out just like all the phone numbers in the movies? Crazy.)
But, once you get beyond the initial phone number exchange…then what?
Tune in tomorrow to find out…