Quick disclaimer – this post took a major turn for the smooshy… so – it’s not as funny as some others, but I promise the next one will be full of spit-your-drink-out horrifyingly comical photos and online misfires.
So, another thing men put on their profiles ALL THE TIME – is that they don’t want drama.
“Drama free,” they say. Or, “I’m not looking for drama.”
Yes you are. And yes you do.
I don’t think they’re saying what they really mean. (Huge surprise there, am I right?)
I think what they MEAN is that they either:
a. don’t want to be stalked by a crazy woman, or
b. don’t want to deal with a woman who demands too much emotional energy from them.
(The first is legit, the second is lazy).
And seeing as I’m not crazy or lazy – or Patrick Swayze (sorry… but I couldn’t resist the rhyme…it’s my inner rapper… she is ALWAYS causing problems), I think I make the cut.
I maintain that everyone wants drama. The good kind. Hello…that’s why we put ourselves in the way of love, isn’t it? We want sparks and fireworks and butterflies and ultimately – real love. BIG love. At least I do.
I suppose there are men out there who would be ok with a sort of mediocre companionship. You know – someone to watch ‘your shows’ with and take turns with any of various household chores. But, I’d venture that MOST of us want something more. Most of us want to find someone who takes our breath away, makes us happy to begin another day because we’ll get to talk with/spend time with/smooch/snuggle with them. Someone who – (hold on… I’m resisting quoting Jerry Maguire… ok…I think I’ve fended it off… for now) – desires you… WANTS you. Maybe even needs you. (no…chill. – not in a codependent kind of way. In that healthy – you bring out the best version of me – kind of way. In that – ‘you’re good peeps’ kinda way. And who doesn’t need that?) Someone with whom you can be intimate. And vulnerable. Known and loved.
All of the best moments of my life have been full of drama. Think about it!? First kisses, best kisses, marriages, great sex, babies, getting amazing news, promotions, watching an amazing story unfold or maybe even just something as simple as getting ‘that look’ from someone… all drama. Think about music. We love it because it EVOKES something in us.. it wakes up a dramatic piece inside us that we long to feel. The best moments are full of drama.
But, then, so are the worst.
So – I suppose this is why love is such an enormous risk… because if you REALLY put yourself in the way of drama…er…love, then you risk having your heart crushed. And no one wants that drama.
But I dare say that those of us who have had our hearts torn into pieces the most severely…the most deeply – have also loved the hardest, and I for one – have not given up hope that there is still drama out there. The good kind.
I guess what I’m saying is – I want the drama. I don’t want so-so. I don’t want to settle. I want passion and fire. And yes, I am well aware that after that first season of initial infatuation, that the fire dies down into the steady glowing embers of faithfulness and friendship. But I love that too. And I think that there is a certain dramatic poetry to that kind of relationship as well. Knowing you’ve found someone who loves you enough to choose only you – that’s pretty dramatic. Knowing you are understood, accepted and loved – that’s high drama. And I love it.
So, if you’re with me, raise a glass to love and fireworks and butterflies in your tummy. Bring the drama. DEFNITELY don’t save it for your mama…
I’m just sayin’.