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Love for Hire

I was talking with a friend about the similarities between dating and interviewing people to hire.  As we were discussing the pros and cons of the interview process, he said, “I wish, instead of interviewing people, I could just have them complete one project.  If they do it well, great!  They’re hired.  If they muck it up, it’s a no go.”  (I’m paraphrasing.)

SO – of course, as you may have already suspected – the gears in my head started spinning about how to appropriate this idea for my dating needs.  Always the opportunist. 

Frankly, I’m considering implementing a new system where a guy who’s interested in me, rather than meeting me for drinks, can  complete a project in or around my home, and I’ll assess his relational worthiness based on his work.

Extreme Makeover dating.  I’m telling you…it’s the next big thing.  Watch out Bachelorette.  I’m coming full-guns-blazing with my crew of handimen and my committment to finding love.

Just think about it – there won’t be any of the contrived, inorganic awkwardness that comes with meeting someone you’ve just met online, when he’s installing cabinetry. 
Gone are the days of nervous first dates.  Welcome to the relationship probationary world of home repair.

You can tell so much about a man based on his handiwork. 

What kind of project does he choose? 

Put a hook in my wall to hang my kid’s painting…feed me for a day.  Custom design and install a Sarah Jessica Parker worthy closet…feed me for a lifetime.  (Am I losing you with the mixed metaphors?) 
Perhaps there could even be a points system based on the level of expertise and time required to complete a project. You know – satisfactory installation of a ceiling fan earns you two rounds of drinks this Friday.  Re-landscaping my entire yard…in the Houston heat – gets you Saturday night dinner, a show and a sizeable goodnight kiss.

Does he bring his own tools?  And what caliber are they? 

This tells me not only if he’s cheap, but whether he recognizes and values quality when he sees it!  It also speaks to preparedness and planning, which, as you all know, are sexy qualities for this single mama.

Does he do a quick and shoddy job or does the take time to do it right? 

What a perfect test for our future relationship.  Is he more interested in a “wham, bam, your towel bar will fall out of the wall after a week, thank you ma’am” kinda scenario?  Or is he going for the anchor-it-securely-to-the-stud sort of partnership?

Does he clean up his mess? 

I’m not JUST trying to escape the slob-like living conditions of bachelordome.  I’m also seeing… is he thoughtful and considerate enough to THINK to clean up his workspace?  That points to his caring nature, and ultimately to his facility with romance.

This kind of screening process will eliminate the guys who aren’t serious relationship material, AND get you that new garbage disposal you’ve had your eye on for months.

Play your cards right and you may even get some hardwood floors…
But that’s only for the seasoned dater.

And for those guys who aren’t “handy with tools” (stop…just stop), there are myriad other options for project work.

– Automotive repair.  (I honestly think I might marry someone who fixed my car…)
– Techy/nerdy help – (wireless routers, installing printer drivers, dropping wire – oh my…)
– Web/Computer/IT assistance – Swoon…
You get the idea.  Heck – he can go grocery shopping for me and be halfway to lifelong affection.

If a guy can prove himself in a well-done project, he’s earned his way to the next rung of dating.  Plus, I’ve weeded out the stroppy and half-hearted men who aren’t ready for the dedication and hard work required to make a relationship sing.

So, grab whatever tools you’ll need to make the cut, and I’LL be the stud-finder.

10 Responses

  1. Robyn

    Hey Sarah, I’m all for the project “audition”. I’ve always felt that “the way you do anything is the way you do everything.” Keep ’em coming Lassie…I look forward to each new post!

    September 6, 2012 at 4:04 pm

  2. Scott

    I’ll do your grocery shopping twice! Then can I get all the way to lifelong affection? 🙂

    September 6, 2012 at 6:27 pm

    • Scott – if you mean twice a week? Then, sign me up, baby… 🙂

      September 6, 2012 at 10:04 pm

  3. Scott

    Hmmmmmm. My counter offer is four times a month. I’ll throw in a home-cooked meal twice a month. What’d ya say? 😀

    September 8, 2012 at 3:37 am

    • I say…. Tell me which site you’re on and your handle – and let me stalk you sufficiently before making such a life-altering decision! I gotta be sure you’ve got a full set of teeth, ya know… A girl’s gotta be careful.

      September 8, 2012 at 3:55 am

      • Scott

        I’m on POF (don’t hold that against me) and I’m sickle368. I am missing one tooth, but it’s near the back – hardly noticeable. 🙂 Happy stalking!
        😀

        September 8, 2012 at 4:40 am

  4. Scott

    And I pray I don’t end up on your blog. At least in a “champions” blog. I am fully clothed, so….. *fingers crossed*

    September 8, 2012 at 4:42 am

    • Scott…never. I remember you now. You’re a nice and intelligent guy. Those guys don’t make it to the blog…they’re not nearly entertaining enough! 🙂

      September 8, 2012 at 4:44 am

      • Scott

        Well, if you ever run out of material for your blog, give me a call. I could pretend to be a narcissistic jerk. My daughter likes temporary tattoos. She could hook me up.

        Never mind….I’ve seen the women on the site. If the men are even half as funny, you’ll never run out! Present company excluded, of course. 😉

        September 8, 2012 at 5:09 am

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