Since so many of you have asked my advice on how to make your profiles REALLY ‘pop,’ I thought I’d dispense some more of my color commentary on all things profiles, including a continued look at what’s hot right now, so you can stay on trend. Here’s what’s new and in vogue.
1. Headless shots. You REALLY don’t want to give the whole cow away right from the get-go, you feel me? So – keep the intrigue alive by eradicating any hope a viewer has of seeing what you truly look like. After all, beauty is within, right?
If you can’t eliminate the head altogether, at the VERY least, tuck your chin, stand far back from the mirror
or hide in the shadows – very Phantom of the Opera-esque.
2. Glamour, glamour, glamour. Set yourself apart by taking it old-school glamour shot.
Don’t be afraid to go full-tilt here and sport a fauxhawk, a mullet or some zipper earrings.
If you get in a pinch – maybe your local mall doesn’t HAVE a glamour shot studio anymore (as if…) – one fallback idea is to post your prom photo. Don’t worry at ALL that it’s extraordinarily outdated. That only adds to the excitement.
And, no QUESTION he gets extra points for matching the vest, tie, boutonniere, her dress and corsage. Whew! LOOOtta pink.
3. Be purposely enigmatic in your writing style. Now, there is a fine line between coming across as stupid or uneducated and simply mysterious and cryptic. I think these examples will really shine a light on that perfect balance:
You’ll note this guy’s poetic artistry and use of expressive phrasing like, “after you know what it was he a man,”
and “help create the bomb I need to play on people’s spirits.”
This guy – THIS GUY gets it.
He knows just how to craft his philosophical musings in such a way as to make women scratch their heads in that “I’m SO intrigued!” sort of way. Niiiice…
Here’s another in this vein:
He thinks women ‘or’ the best thing God ‘every’ made. See what he did there? Do you see the genius? He could have gone so many other orthodox (read: boring) routes. He COULD have just actually written about himself in the section designated for talking about yourself. He COULD have simply used traditional words like “are” and “ever,” but he really mixed it up by going “or” and “every.” He COULD have, under “Perfect Match,” said “someone who can give as much love as I give,” but no – he chose to go with the artsy “igove.” Brilliant.
4. Mug shots. Mug shots are ALL the rage this season. If you have an actual mug shot from a recent booking, that’s best, but if not, feel free to improvise and create the illusion of one. Posing with an angry face in front of fence posts or any corrugated backdrop/structure can drive home the criminal-chic look.
5. Show the ladies what you USED to look like in your glory days – you know, the 70’s – when you were peaking. Including photos from 40 years ago will not only show how much you’ve aged and wrinkled up (and who doesn’t love that), but it demonstrates a range of “looks.” These are two photos from the same profile, to make my point:
6. Get artsy. Photos of you in everyday life are so passe. Play with new and exciting backgrounds and effects.
You can also use photoshop or other manipulative software to superimpose your photo into optimal shots like this one:
7. Opt for zero punctuation. It’s just getting in the way of the art of your written word. Punctuation is so yesterday.
8. Change the perspective. Think outside the box here – why choose a regular right-side-up shot, when you can take it to the side? This forces the viewer to have to bend her neck uncomfortably to the side, giving her a horrible strained muscle, putting her RIGHT where you want her – at your mercy to step in like a sideways knight in shining armor and rub the crick out. Well-played, sideways man. Well-played.
9. Show the ladies what you’re capable of “bagging.” This works especially well if you’re old and leathery. Photos of you with a sexy 20-something model by your side really send a positive message about who you are and what you want. If you are lucky enough to get a shot in a parking lot with an 8-wheeler unloading its wares, …double score.
10. Use photos of random objects or scenes that have nothing to do with you or your lifestyle.
This is not my caption. This is how it was listed on this guy’s profile.
I guess it’s not every day that you see a parrot (macaw? I never know…) perched on a handicapped parking sign, so, I mean – this guy really had no choice BUT to post this. It was just the right thing to do.
Once again – not making this stuff up – this guy really did have this as one of his profile photos. But you know WHAT? That’s great. It let’s me know a few things: a. he has a foot fetish. Fair enough. b. He spells ‘probably’ the alternative way – such an independent thinker. THIS is the kind of innovation you need to make your profile stand out.
11. One last trick that should bring the women running…
Superimposing interesting text over your photos. Check it:
He’s got the front, folks. And now everyone knows it. VERY classy move.
He’s started the conversation FOR you! This guy is a real go-getter. Admirable.
Well – these aren’t ALL the tricks at your disposal, but it’s certainly enough to get you started on the right track.
Trust me – go fishing with these lures, and you’ll be reeling in the women in NO time. Would I lie?